Coach Training Institute

What have feelings got to do with it?

I recently attended a coaching conference where one of the speakers was certainly the highlight for most of us attending.

He was the last speaker of the second day and we were all exhausted at that stage. We had been to many talks and were looking forward to getting the last talk over with and going for cocktails at the hotel lounge.

This speaker took us all by surprise. He made us laugh, his message was fantastic and he created an incredible energy in the room. At the end of his talk, there was an entirely different buzz amongst the delegates and we all just wanted him to carry on speaking.

A couple of months later, I was talking to a group about this speaker, saying how brilliant he was and what an amazing talk he gave. Upon reflection, I realised that I did not actually remember many of the details of the talk. What remained with me most were the feelings that I had experienced during the talk of being energised and enjoying a wonderful experience.

I was struck by the fact that it is the feelings that really remained with me rather than the actual subject matter. I had taken copious notes and reviewed them later but I am amazed at the fact that the combination of a good talk and good feelings is what made the whole experience stick.

I can relate this experience to my experience with coaching clients.

In the process of identifying limiting behaviour patterns in order to create new empowering behaviour patterns, it is essential to analyse the impact of the old behaviour on the life of a client. We then decide on the new behaviour that we want to create and identify the positive impact that this will have on the client’s life. When looking at the impact, it is important to assess the impact in all areas of the client’s life including the emotional impact. If the client can get in touch with the great feelings that the new behaviour pattern will create and not just with the positive “physical” impact on their life, the desired outcome will be smoother and quicker to achieve.

When a person gets in touch with the positive feelings associated with any event, it is as though he is experiencing this event again. It has been shown that when using visualisation techniques, the brain can’t differentiate between the events being real or just being visualised. If you then add the feelings associated with the event to the visualisation, you have created a powerful transition phase that is bound to happen in reality.

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